Release

Regrets pile, once again.

I hope one of your friends will let you know
About the A-Team and Dragonball shows

Just in case you would like to watch them
And I can rest from thinking of you each time I glimpse their trailers.

It's going to be a long, long road,
But I've made some steps down it already
And God has been with me every step
And will be here for every new, painful step I take.

Release

Cut the cord

So the ground shifts again
And I've done something
I never thought I would do.

I regretted it almost immediately
But I'll stay the course

Believing this will help us
In the end.

Continuing to fix my eyes on Jesus
The Author and Perfecter of my faith
I put aside, for now
This burden of still loving you
When you no longer love me.

And maybe someday in the future
I may turn back, and be surprised

Either to find you with open arms, smiling
Like I'd dreamed a million times

Or to find the burden gone
Melted away while I wasn't looking
Drained quietly from the shrinking hole
In my heart.

Wherever you go, whatever you do
I wish you well.

I can be free
I can be free from this place
Beautiful Healer
Beautiful grace
Help me to see
Everything fall into place
Wake me from dreaming
No more deceiving
Break these chains
~Corrinne May, "Free"

Testing 1-2-3

Realising with sudden clarity
That it isn't only me who can't let go
But it's you, too.

And such irony -
The one thing that tells me that
Is the one thing you thought would release me
But rather holds us both, like a lynch pin
To something in the past
Not yet done.

Maybe you don't yet realise, but I do
Maybe, like our mutual friend, you will take years to realise
The trajectory might differ,
But "all roads lead to Rome".

Well, it is not for me to intervene
I learnt that long ago
But to wait and heal and laugh and learn
And grow.

And every now and then I test
To see how much I've grown
And in the same test I can see
How much you have.

I cannot watch your growth unfold
So the day that one thing changes

I'll know

You've grown
And have truly
Let go.