Closure

I see I jumped to a conclusion too quickly. When will I learn that he does not have such negative feelings towards me? He has been reassuring me again and again.

Perhaps it helped that he finally sent the email. And I finally know what he has been thinking, that it is not because of some huge fault on either of our behalfs, that he really does care instead of being resentful or irritated towards me.

But I really wish he had talked it all out with me. I really wish he had given me a chance to respond, given us a chance to change, given us a chance to pray over it and be sure of God's leading for us. Maybe things would have turned out different, or maybe not. But it sure would have helped me move on and not cling on in bewilderment.

Well, now I know. And I thank God for keeping me calm. I hope this will last - dear God, please help me to trust You with my future.

He said he has been letting me go, and I can't ask him to stop that or reverse it. I will just have to accept it.

But I don't think I'm ready to move on, not just yet. I don't feel strongly about it at this point in time, but I still feel our relationship should not have ended. Still, there's nothing I can do. As Mum & Dad said, no point holding on when one party does not want to continue.

But God, You said I should "in everything, present your requests before God". Can I please request that You show me clearly whether or not he is the life partner You have chosen for me? Circumstantially, because he has chosen to move on, it certainly seems that the answer is "no". But You know my heart's desire is to be reunited with him. And I need Your answer before I can obey it with all my heart.

Thank You for this opportunity to refocus my life on You. I do see how much I have grown through this painful episode. Maybe it will be a painful reality for the rest of my life - I don't know. But I do know now that however long it takes, I will wait for Your answer. I won't rush into things. I will follow the Shepherd of my soul.

Dear God, please grant that my broken heart will heal.

A second reminder, though I don't think I need it quite as much now.

Romans 14:7-8 "For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone. If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord."

A helpful verse.

Isaiah 26:3 "You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you."

Help me trust in You, Lord.